Stoozer the red-nosed rate-tart

You know Natwest and Ulster
And HBOS and Virgin,
Comet and Citi
And Morgan and Cap-one
But do you recall
The most famous rate-tart of all?

Stoozer the red-nosed rate-tart
Had a very shiny card
And if you ever saw it
You would even say "it's smart !"
All of the other rate-tarts
Used to laugh and call him names
They never let poor Stoozer
Play in any rate-tart games

Then one foggy Christmas Eve
Santa came to say
Stoozer with your Stooz Pot might
Help me get my budget right !
Then all the rate-tarts loved him
And they shouted out with glee
"Stoozer the red-nosed rate-tart
Stoozing dot com for me !"